Everything is Cancelled for Today

We had a visit from my mom today. She wore her mask and we sat 6 feet apart outside and talked for a while. She brought the boys ice cream and everything felt strangely…normal. Without being normal at all, of course. When it came time for her to head home, I called my 8 year old outside to say goodbye and he came bounding out of the door when suddenly everything started moving in slow motion as it became clear that he was going in to hug my mom. “No! Stop!” I shouted. He paused, a terrified look on his face, and immediately turned and buried his face in my sweater. After a moment, the tears started flowing. I could feel his heart beating a million miles a minute. And mine broke into a thousand pieces.

He has held it together so well through all of this. Through the absence of friends and teachers and school and grandparent hugs, he has remained more positive than I would ever have imagined. But the flood gates are never closed indefinitely. When they do come swinging open, it is often at the most unexpected moment.

“It’s OK. You can cry. This is not normal and it is hard and weird. It’s OK. You can cry.” This is all I could think to say.

So, for today, everything originally on my to do list is cancelled and we are taking care of each other. Quietly going through the day painting, listening to music, and watching a movie feels like the right course of action.

Everything is cancelled for today…everything but loving on my kids and having tacos for dinner. I’m not a complete animal. :)