12 Days of Self-Care | Ask for Help

I am terrible at asking for help. My inclination is to give the appearance that I have it all under control but the truth is that I rarely do. I work hard to keep up with my work and my home and my kids and my marriage, but it is a lot. That’s something I don’t think we talk about often enough. Acknowledging that doing life is a giant task is not exactly what we do on social media or in blog posts. But maybe we should. If we did, maybe we would feel less ashamed or scared of asking for help. In my opinion, the strongest people are the ones who are willing to say, “I need help.” 

I am working on this skill and have come a long way. Of course, I still have a lot of work to do in the department. I try to remind myself that I am only one person and just like I needed help zipping my coat when I was 3, I need help from time to time at 35. THAT IS OK. Most people want to be helpers. They want to feel needed and to be taken care of in return. But if we all retreat to our little bubbles, assuming social media is “real-life” and that everyone in our feed has perfectly clean and decorated homes with happy children who eat everything that is set in front of them, we are going to dig ourselves into a hole. 

I want you to try something this week. It’s going to feel awkward but you have to start somewhere. All you need to do is ask one person to help lighten your load in some way this week. Maybe that involves finding someone to help you with school drop-off or pick-up one day this week. Maybe that involves asking a friend to meet you for coffee so you can vent. Maybe that involves asking your partner to handle a household chore so you can spend time going on a walk. Ask for help. 

OK. Now that you’ve asked for help, I want you to do a follow-up assignment: offer to help someone else. That friend with the new baby? Bring her a smoothie or coffee and a freezer meal. Know someone who is struggling with anxiety or just feeling overwhelmed? Drop off a candle or some flowers at their door with an encouraging note. Make a move and be a helper. If someone is heavy on your heart, there is a reason and you should act on it.